Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
