Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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