just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
