i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
