me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
