I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I am mentally ready for anal.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
