It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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