I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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