Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
