Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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