everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
