Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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