we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
