Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
