I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
