Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
