can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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