I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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