That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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