My first STD was from a foam party
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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