Do you still have your period?
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
