Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
honey bunches of taint.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It was a blind-side dick pic.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
