You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
