Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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