ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
you had me at cake vodka
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
