Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
