Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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