two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
