you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I am one with the molecules
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
