he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He shit in the fireplace
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
