I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
