My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
