dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
