wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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