I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
