I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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