I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
