also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
