So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
