My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
