You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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