Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
