had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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