My brain says no but my pants say off.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
