I am puke
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
