Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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