i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
