What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
