Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
