I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
