it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
