shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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